i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
