i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize