I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
