Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
