Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
