My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
