Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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