Dual....:-)
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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