Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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