i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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