just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
