she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
