Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
