Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
