I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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