Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
