just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
