party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
