We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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