I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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