Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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