Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
