i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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