Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
