Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
