Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
