There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
