Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
