you have to choose: penises or morals?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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