I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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