Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Bring me that man meat
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
