okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
