his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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