i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
