After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
