kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
