hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
