There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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