I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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