k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize