But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Damn victory sex feels great
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
