if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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