Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
