So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
