Non-Jews are for practice
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
