we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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