The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
