I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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