i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
