Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
