hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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