My pussy is not your playground.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
