I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
