im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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