i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
