No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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