He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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