He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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