ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
