I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
