Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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